It is 2020 and We Are Food Blogging, Baby!

It was my third year in college and I had just experienced the most painful, hurtful breakup of my young life. I had been dating a girl for just under a year when I learned from her roommate that she had been cheating on me for almost the entire time we had been together. I had my suspicions, of course, but never any proof, not really, at least not proof I was willing to examine with any kind of depth. My heart has always been a fragile thing. Her roommate told me the last straw for her was when I had dropped by with some banh mi from the Lee's Sandwiches next to campus. It was an unplanned visit, and my girlfriend had the guy she was cheating on me with hide under the bed in her room while she took the sandwiches from me and then made an excuse as to why I needed to leave. The next day her roommate came to my place and told me what had happened. I called my girlfriend and broke up with her, and then went for one of those aimless walks reserved for those in deep pain. It ...

(I was supposed to artfully drizzle some cream at the end but it looks like a disaster, which is fine because we don't have to rely so heavily on aesthetics around here!) There is something soothing about making, cultivating, or growing an ingredient to use for several recipes--especially during this time. My boyfriend has already used some of the scallion we have been growing in my kitchen to make soft scrambled eggs! And right on time, on day five, my basil has finally sprouted! And for the Paneer Butter Masala, Meera Sodha's recipe from Fresh India , we decided to make our own paneer! We used the same recipe that Cale blogged about  but since we are not blessed with a tofu press, we used a colander, cheese cloth, and a 2-quart dutch oven to press. Still VERY easy! What I also love about this recipe is that you can find a lot of things in your pantry already: canned tomatoes, frozen peas, lots of spices, the herbs you've been storing properly , etc. I did...

Look, my toasts aren't Sqirl levels of attractive, but then again, even Sqirl's toast—now relegated to delivery only —doesn't even look all that sexy these days. But who even cares about sexy food right now? NOT I. Anyway, I made toast three different ways for breakfast this morning (I kept saying "toast three ways!" and Kristen was like "it sounds like you're talking about threeways"), using random things I had in my fridge. If you really want to take your loaded toasts to the next level, pan fry the bread in a cast iron instead of using a toaster.  Pretty much anything can be a toast spread and, just like mini sandwiches seem fancy for no reason, mini toasts are also delightful and faux-fancy.   Having three or more different kinds of toast spreads is an easy way to trick yourself into thinking you're having a stylish breakfast even though it's literally just throwing stuff on top of bread. You could absolutely get even fancier than...

I am writing this after taking a little break from washing my clothes in my (luckily large farmhouse) sink because the laundromat closest to my apartment closed up for the foreseeable future last week. I *could* venture out further to find an open laundromat but since I am trying to limit my time outside/around people as much as possible, walking a further distance with a bulky bag just doesn't seem like a great  choice right now if I can avoid it.  Limiting my grocery runs/hauls is also another way to limit my time around folks, which means a lot of leftovers. Leftovers can be, I WILL SAY IT, boring after a day or two but I feel like throwing in some fresh herbs really helps liven it up a bit, and makes the dish feel like new.  How do you keep fresh herbs around for a long time? I am glad you asked! Here are some tips I have leaned on for many years and, if it's all new to you, you can use now, too!  Herbs can be divided into tender and hardy types. An...

Several years ago, I stumbled upon a Youtube video of someone making tiny candy foods and was immediately obsessed. I realized that the Youtuber was using some candy kits that they make in Japan and knew immediately that I had to have them for myself. So when, a few years later, I went to Japan, on my list of things I *had* to buy were those damn kits. I came back with like, twenty boxes, and gave away a few to my friends' kids, and then hoarded a bunch for myself for some rainy day. WELL IT APPEARS THAT RAINY DAY HAS COME AT LAST. Yesterday I decided to break out one of these kits and spent a long time making tiny sushi. It was delightful. It involved a lot of water and mixing of powders and watching jellies set. The best part? Using a small dropper to make tiny "salmon roe." Here is a video that I spent too long editing! Did I spend a ton of time on making these sushi? Yes. Did I spend more time on this than ACTUAL cooking yesterday? Maybbbee...

In the movie 8 Mile, Eminem yearns for mom's spaghetti as he prepares for his life as a rapper. In my movie, my mom's spaghetti is chai. It's ready. My mom made us chai on a stovetop with the smell making its way into my room and preparing me for a lifetime of needing chai all the time. All the time. Unhealthy amounts. Apparently I drank chai in my bottle instead of milk sometimes. Explains a lot. You need five ingredients: loose Assam tea leaves (chai patthi), milk, cardamom (elaichi) and time. After a lifetime of watching my mom make it without measuring a single thing, I've nailed down a measurement: 240g of water : 10g chai patthi That's all you need, folks. Boil the water. Crack the elaichi (cardamom). Add the patthi. Yo His chai is sweaty Knees week, pot is heavy There's a smell in the kitchen Mom's chai-ghetti Nervous to make it but on the surface the chai's lookin calm and ready Add milk...

As a "food professional" (lol), I usually lack the time and energy to cook when I'm at home. For the first time in a loooong time, I'm home for a week and living my best life cooking at home. I don't need to be in my clogs, apron, have my hair tied up with a bandana, or keep my work station clean (okay, okay I still do that). Cooking at home for me = pajamas & slippers, rewatching The Office (again) on my iPad or listening to 2000s party jams on Spotify ( this song slaps ). The first thing I made was Smitten Kitchen's double chocolate banana bread . I love Deb's recipes because they work and are perfect for cooks in a small kitchen. Here's how my process went down: -   Spend 5 minutes looking for my loaf pan, only to realize I don't actually have one. Curse myself and settle for a deep square brownie pan lined in spray & parchment. (Pro tip: start buying parchment paper! It's by the far the best for lining baking pans and also gre...

Hello again! Have you drank all your boxed wine yet? If you have - that's understandable. It goes pretty quick once you realize you can't leave the house and there's nothing left for you to do but wait for the next episode of Vanderpump Rules to air. Lisa Vanderpump would understand. She'd probably put some wine in a saucer for her dog. Same! Maybe you've got some beer? I hope? A surplus of beer, perhaps, or even a surplus of empty cans? That's where beer can bowling comes in! This game is great because all you need are those empty cans and then a fruit of your choice. I chose an orange because that's what we had in the apartment (today we used it to make margaritas, look at us, repurposing everything). Also we're preventing scurvy! Two birds, etc. Here is a video of me absolutely killing it with my bowling. Just straight up murdering those beer cans. If you need a confidence boost in this time of being stuck in your house, I highly recom...

"Hey, I pretty much have everything I need to make jalapeno poppers." Narrator: She did not.  The very nature of forced solitude allows for strange things to brew inside us. Boredom, combined with the comfort of a satiated belly and a mind unready to surrender to sleep come up with wild ideas that stretch logic. Thoughts like "Fuck it let's have a snack" and "oh crap I didn't buy any snacks" and "Hey I could probably basically make jalapeno poppers rn" Then perhaps one realizes, that actually, no, they cannot, because they lack one central ingredient: cheese. But, hark! Inspiration strikes!  Jalapeno Bottle Caps are the true spicy purists' obsession , and there's always a way to make those! Except, one realizes they no longer have the bread crumbs they thought they had in their pantry, and certainly no eggs. Welp, you'd suppose such a scenario would be the end of our journey, but of course it isn't. Lac...

For Americans with no ties to the Commonwealth, this debate is probably best likened to the "milk first or cereal first" question. Naturally, for any reasonable and sane person there is only ONE true option. (Cereal first, you absolute jags). But what exactly makes a good cup of tea? George Orwell's take on a proper cup of tea , is honestly still the correctest opinion. The base notes are timeless: -creamy teas are sickly, -in the interest of an impact-laden cup, forgo sugar; -flat, shallow vessels make your tea quickly cold and detestable, a cylindrical drinking vessel shape is paramount. -start with dark, black teas if you are a caffeine hound seeking stimulation (that's me!) -tea first, milk second -an extra ration of tea should be afforded to old-age pensioners* Basically, you can say, I like my men how I like my tea: complicated, full of depth, history, and flavor** When I make chai at home, I skip the heavily masala-ed, labor intensive stove top ...

Upon my return to Taipei a few days ago, I was immediately put into mandatory, super-serious 14-day quarantine. Like so serious I can't leave my studio apartment to throw out my trash. So serious that if my phone runs out of battery or loses signal, the police will show up at my apartment. So serious that if I break quarantine, I'll be fined $30,000 USD. Okay, so yeah, I'm not leaving my apartment. Luckily, I have very good people in my life who stocked up my fridge for me ahead of time with a spare key I'd left. The one thing I asked for, beside a lot of instant noodles? Ground pork. Why? Because I wanted to make a huge batch of meatballs. Meatballs are sort of my default go-to keep-in-the-freezer food. It's weird because I did not grow up with meatballs. My mother was more of the keep-dumplings-in-the-freezer type. But when I started to cook for myself, I discovered that meatballs were the easiest thing to make and great to keep on hand for wheneve...

I do not know how to produce (cook? curdle?) gouda or jarlsburg, but I did make paneer last night so there's that. And it looked pretty good? Paneer is one of those things that, because it's not ubiquitous in non-South Asian cooking, it's stupidly expensive to buy. If I remember correctly, I once spent over $5 for a fist-sized brick. Yet, the tofu-like cheese is actually extremely cheap and easy to make. Like, I am shocked that I don't do this all the time—that is, when I'm not trapped inside my apartment because of an ever-spreading viral pandemic. The recipe is simple (I got it from Meera Sodha's wonderful book Fresh India ): Dump some milk in a pot, heat it up, throw in some lemon juice to curdle it, then strain it all out. Here is my ingredient breakdown:  - 1 gallon of whole milk  - 1/2 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice (two lemons' worth) There you go, that's it. This is how I went about it: I brought the milk to a boil, stirring constantly t...

If you’ve managed to avoid the rush of panicked hoarders at your local grocery store—or just waited a day or two for the store to restock—then you might’ve picked up a bag of rice as part of your apocalyptic doomsday prepping. The great thing about this shelf-stable staple is that you can do a million things with it, like garlic rice! Filipino style garlic rice is a great way to repurpose some leftovers into a very tasty breakfast, and it goes very nicely with some good ol’ fashioned bacon/sausage and eggs. If you really wanna get fancy (and add a semblance of healthy things to your plate), you can balance all that savory goodness with a fresh little salad—or, as they would say on Top Chef, a beautiful cucumber and tomato salad drizzled with freshly squeezed lemon juice and a hint of salt . Twah!   Frying your rice is super easy. Just chop about 3 cloves of garlic and get that shit frying in about 1 1/2 tablespoons of neutral oil in a frying pan or wok over medium heat. ...

Cooking is science—or so I've heard. Personally I hate to think of cooking as science and prefer to think about it the same way I think about writing but ANYWAY. Lately I've been getting into emulsions in the kitchen? Which does sound A. Ridiculous B. Like science. So let's talk emulsions, baby! On like day one of social distancing, I really wanted a Jimmy John's sandwich? Do not @ me. I however did not have access to a Jimmy John's sandwich so my totally normal way of processing this was to make my own sandwiches including...mayonnaise made from scratch. Mayonnaise is a classic emulsion and I'm apparently the kind of person who says "classic emulsion" now. My girlfriend recently gifted me a copy of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat, and it is hands down the best cookbook I've ever laid eyes on (I usually don't like cookbooks due to my aforementioned tendency to never follow rules in the kitchen!). But even I will admit emulsions r...

Inspired by Nick's Spaghetti Kee Mao , I also decided to turn to the Night + Market cookbook my friend Andi gifted for my birthday a few years ago, to find inspiration. If your pantry includes some East Asian/South East Asian staples, you probably already have all the ingredients in your pantry/fridge to make the best Pad Thai in your kitchen. This was my small revelation when I looked at the simple ingredients list and thought, on a "normal" day, this is a good recipe...on day ??? of self-isolation, this is the perfect  recipe. I basically followed the recipe with two modifications: in lieu of fish sauce (as Brian is a vegetarian), we would normally go for the homemade vegan fish sauce that we made (and if you have the time, I highly recommend making it, because it's kind of fun and also, time consuming). However, the homemade version we made is chilling in Brian's fridge so I had to go with my third choice: a mix of soy + rice wine vinegar to sub. TBH,...

If you've followed me on Twitter for any length of time, you know that I am, more than anything else, the world's #1 evangelist for Shin Ramyun, the spicy Korean instant noodle. I have given more thought than is probably healthy or logical into getting a tattoo of the logo and also a tattoo of Nong Shim, the all-devouring food conglomerate that makes both Shin and other famous instant noodles like Neoguri and Chapaghetti, recently made famous in combination as the portmanteau of japaguri by  Parasite . I am also the #1 proponent of putting a slice or two (or recently during quarantine, five) of Kraft singles onto said noodles. I even wrote a whole column about it at Catapult for my  Bad Kimchi  column there. But! I wanted today to talk about how you can make an even more ridiculous bowl of Shin Ramyun, one that will warm and destroy your heart in equal measures and also give you about 3,000x times your daily recommended amount of sodium, because who cares anymore. ...

Samosas are one of those top-tier foods that I have never bothered trying to cook. Mostly this comes down to deep-frying. I really dislike deep-frying at home. It stinks up my apartment, it’s annoying to clean up and dispose of the oil correctly, and since I’m almost never cooking for a huge number of people, it’s not efficient. Heating up the quarts and quarts of oil to fry four samosas for two people? Life’s too short, even during a quarantine. I had resigned myself to eating samosas only when I ordered Indian takeout until I watched this video from Cooking YouTube’s avuncular major-domo Chef John: In this recipe, you make the samosa filling same as you would normally, but skip the dough and deep-frying. Instead, you put the filling inside a flour tortilla and fry that in a tablespoon or two of oil.  Now, it’s not as good as a real samosa, but it’s still pretty outstanding. The filling is spicy and flavorful (and you can adjust the potato texture and ...