Maximizing Your Boxed Wine Content

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Hello everyone! I'm here to talk to you about beer and wine. This will be the least helpful column on this beautiful food blog because I only know how to cook a frozen pizza and I don't know anything about beer and wine other than the fact that I like to drink it! Thankfully I was quarantined with my girlfriend so I won't wind up with scurvy from only eating cereal for two months straight.

Onward!

If you're quarantined with alcohol, good news, it's already happy hour. 10am?? Who cares, pour a glass. No one is judging you! People bought every roll of toilet paper from the grocery store. A man is trying to sell bootlegged hand sanitizer from his garage! You're doing great, sweetie.

Today I would like to talk to you about maximizing your boxed wine consumption.


Here we have a box of pinot grigio. I bought it (and five other boxes) because it was the significantly cheaper alternative without delving into the extremely dicey Franzia territory. You can use this wine for anything! Drinking (doing that right now), cooking sauces and such (I think), disinfecting a wound (please don't try this, probably a bad idea), and also for throwing in peoples faces when you're upset with them (I saw this on Vanderpump Rules). It's good! The tasting notes are: grapes. It's a wine.


Oh no, did you get to the last of the box? Don't you worry! Open it up! I bet there's more in there! 


 Cut off the top right corner. Or left. Whichever you prefer! I don't know your life!


Now you are gonna pour the remainder in your glass. There is absolutely a wholeass glass of wine left in that bag. Just imagine throwing valuable wine away. In this economy??????


What can you do with that leftover box? Make a beautiful hat for your pet! Store some oranges! Knitting supplies from that time you thought you'd take up a craft but now you're quarantined and still don't know how to do it because you never took the classes like you told people you were going to! Or use it for fuel in the upcoming apocalypse. Live your best life!

Next time I will talk to you about buying beer with the highest ABV at your local convenience store for under 8 bucks. Until then, cheers!

Comments

  1. DogsDontPurrMarch 29, 2020 at 6:05 PM

    I think you and I would probably be good friends in real life. Especially with that "beer w/ the highest ABV" comment. Ha!

    ReplyDelete

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