Spill the Tea: A Right and Proper Cuppa

For Americans with no ties to the Commonwealth, this debate is probably best likened to the "milk first or cereal first" question. Naturally, for any reasonable and sane person there is only ONE true option. (Cereal first, you absolute jags). But what exactly makes a good cup of tea? George Orwell's take on a proper cup of tea, is honestly still the correctest opinion. The base notes are timeless:

-creamy teas are sickly,
-in the interest of an impact-laden cup, forgo sugar;
-flat, shallow vessels make your tea quickly cold and detestable, a cylindrical drinking vessel shape is paramount.
-start with dark, black teas if you are a caffeine hound seeking stimulation (that's me!)
-tea first, milk second
-an extra ration of tea should be afforded to old-age pensioners*

Basically, you can say, I like my men how I like my tea: complicated, full of depth, history, and flavor**

When I make chai at home, I skip the heavily masala-ed, labor intensive stove top variety. The process I describe here is one I drink as part of my go go modern gal lifestyle, (though I suppose these days it's more stay-stay), but also what I find when I go home to visit my mother in the suburbs or at my aunt's flat in Karachi. I'm not quite sure why this is the method favored by my kin, but because it's the kind I grew up drinking/making, it's the only thing that'll do when I need a nice, comforting cup of chai.

Step 0: Assemble the Crew
(please forgive the other miscellany in the background, I had just set some lunch plans into motion. I assure you onions and peppers play no part in my tea process)
-If you are truly looking to level up your tea game, I highly recommend an electric kettle. We love to see it.
-Milk
-A solid, strong black tea. PG Tips is my favorite, but Tetley is a suitable substitute. If you absolutely must use Lipton, use two tea bags for a strong brew.
-Though I love a beautiful teacup with a saucer, a cylindrical tall cup is best for the daily chai drinker. Open faced cups cause the tea to cool down too quickly. Tea fun fact: people used to drink tea straight from saucers, (some still do!)

Step 1: Tea First, Always
The real magic to a good cup of chai, is adhering to the appropriate order of operations, Set the water to boil. Really, the kettle is doing all the work here, leaving you free to plop the teabag into the empty cup. Always tea bag first, never water or milk first. ALWAYS. When the water is ready, pour it on in. A good strong tea bag tea should start giving you a nice dark caramel color pretty immediately. But, we still have more work to do!

Step 2: Prep the Milk
I'm being quite reckless in my self-isolation; hence not using a proper milk saucer, and just plopping the milk into a mason jar instead. While your tea brews, you can plop your milk in the microwave. The temperature of the milk is one I'm willing to concede on. Whether you prefer cold, room temp, or piping hot, I think it's fair for you to do you, in this instance. When heating milk, handle with care. I left it in the microwave too long and had to contend with the overflow boil spillage you see above.

Step 3: Strain the Bag
This is one that is really important imo. Don't merely Pull out the tea bag, fully sopping with tea goodness. Tamp that sucker out! Push it to the side of the mug with a spoon, pull it out, then give it another good squeeze against the spoon with your thumb. (If you happen to have one of those super small egg separators around, they are also wonderful for this purpose. Simply use your spoon to scoop the tea bag into the separator, holding over your mug, then use the spoon to push through every last accessible drop of that lovely liquid).

Step 4: Add the Milk
A medium golden brown shade is the only true acceptable color for a cup of good tea. (Not the prettiest photo, but in real life, I assure you it is stunning to gaze upon, and a sign that no matter the chaos that is out of your control, a perfect cup of tea is within your reach, always).

Step 5: Enjoy! 
Haughty air of superiority not mandatory, but recommended.


*lol jk obviously all resources will be depleted by the time we need them/we're Americans and pensions aren't really a thing for most of us. 

**Actual dating history remains to catch up to this aesthetic. I'm working on it, I swear!