Destroy Me, Shin Ramyun: A recipe

If you've followed me on Twitter for any length of time, you know that I am, more than anything else, the world's #1 evangelist for Shin Ramyun, the spicy Korean instant noodle. I have given more thought than is probably healthy or logical into getting a tattoo of the logo and also a tattoo of Nong Shim, the all-devouring food conglomerate that makes both Shin and other famous instant noodles like Neoguri and Chapaghetti, recently made famous in combination as the portmanteau of japaguri by Parasite.

I am also the #1 proponent of putting a slice or two (or recently during quarantine, five) of Kraft singles onto said noodles. I even wrote a whole column about it at Catapult for my Bad Kimchi column there.

But! I wanted today to talk about how you can make an even more ridiculous bowl of Shin Ramyun, one that will warm and destroy your heart in equal measures and also give you about 3,000x times your daily recommended amount of sodium, because who cares anymore.

If you don't have all of the ingredients on here, it's okay. If you only have Shin and cheese, I won't judge you - in fact, I'll even congratulate you for wanting to taste the purest form of this recipe, without the distraction of pesky vegetables. Spicy mac and cheese! That's what it tastes like!

This recipe is going to be far more work than you're usually used to with instant noodles if you're not someone who messes around with instant noodles on the regular; by far more work I mean maybe 15-20 minutes more, but it kinda takes the "instant" aspect away from instant noodles and maybe you'll feel really good about making something!

Anyway, this is best put together at 1a.m. in the deepest moments of your despair, or maybe for lunch, too, that's fine. Pairs great with your most expensive whiskey/scotch or bargain plastic bottle soju, either way or both ways.

Destroy Me, Shin Ramyun

This is for one serving. Feel free to double it for yourself, not that I've done that.

Ingredients:

• 1 package Shin Ramen. Not Shin Black, though it's fine I guess if you have that and not regular shin
• 1, 2, or 10 slices Kraft singles. Feel free to sub sharp grated cheddar if you want to feel alive
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 4 oz. mushrooms of your choice, preferably shiitake, sliced
• 200g or about 1/3lb of thinly sliced pork belly
• 3 good slices of Spam (optional), sliced into thin matchsticks
• 1 serrano or jalapeño pepper, thinly sliced
• Two pieces of roasted Korean seaweed (gim), chopped into matchsticks
• 1 egg
• 1 T butter
• 1/2T soy sauce

1. With a small frying or sauce pan, melt the butter over medium-high heat until it's a bit foamy. Add the mushrooms and stir a bit so they're even coated with butter. Once they reduce a bit, pour soy sauce on top and gently move them around so they all turn brown; you can taste one to see if it's done. Once finished, set aside and wipe out the pan.
2. Brown the pork belly in the same small sauce pan. Do a few minutes on each side until it's a bit crisp and most of the fat has rendered off. Set aside belly; pour fat into a vessel that can withstand it. You can reserve that fat for something else, like roasted potatoes!
3.  If you're using the spam, brown it now until it's crisp all around.
4. Cook the ramyun; I use just a bit less water than recommended because I prefer it a bit spicier/saltier.
5. Once you put the noodles in, when they start getting looser, make a pool in the middle and crack an egg into the pool. Let this sit for about 3 minutes until the egg soft boils a bit.
6. Pour the noodles and egg into a bowl; leave some broth in the pot and dispose of it later.
7. Push the noodles into a small pile in the middle of the bowl; put Kraft singles gently, lovingly, carnally on top.
8. Add mushroom, sliced chilies, green onion, pork, and spam; arrange however you'd like for your own visceral pleasure.
9. Wait for the cheese to melt a bit before enjoying pulling the noodles right through it while you eat.
10. Drink a lot of water to address the amount of sodium now swimming around in your body.